Richard Pray, Immigrant 1630-1693

Update:  After consideration, I've re-worded a couple of sentences in the blog regarding the physical fights that this couple had.  I may have given the impression, by using words from some of the records,  that Mary may have brought some abuse on herself.  I've been asked by someone I love and respect to remove that wording, and so I have tried to clarify each person's role in their lose-lose situation.  Of course, without being in the room with them, we will never know all that went on in their home but it's fair to draw a picture without drawing a conclusion. 

This blog post may or may not be something you want to read.  If you imagine that all our ancestors were devout Christians who kept a civil tongue in their head and treated their families with great love and respect, you may not want to read this post.  If, however, you are of the belief that it's a good thing to know about all our ancestors, warts and all, read on.  And if you like scandal, this is the post for you!

Richard Pray is generally accepted to be the son of Quentin and Joan Valliance Pray, of Frant, Sussex, England, although these doesn't seem to be documentation for his birth.  Likely this means he was baptized somewhere else, perhaps in an ancestral church elsewhere, but it sure would be nice to find his baptismal record.  Actually, his baptism may be one of the few times he was ever in church, or maybe I'm not giving the man the breaks he deserves.  We don't know for sure when he came to America but it was after 1635, as neither he nor his father is listed in those papers.  Many websites say his place of birth was Kittery, York, Maine, but that seems unlikely.

According to his testimony in a court case in 1685, he was 55 years old at the time, so was likely born about 1630, give or take a year or two.  We don't know for sure when he married, or whom, but her name was Mary and she was the mother of his children.  This was not a loving couple, but she seems to have started as many fights as he did.  She also seems to have suffered injuries more often and more serious than he did.  At any rate, the two did not get along, and by 1671 one of them requested a divorce.  It was granted, but a higher court nullified the decision.  The request was made again in 1672 and denied.  These two people, both of them apparently victims of both physical and verbal abuse, would have to live out their marriage vows, although not necessarily in the same location.

Locations are confusing for me, regarding Richard Pray.  He was supposedly an early settler of Rhode Island, in 1645, but he would have been only about fifteen at the time.  How did that happen?  He was involved in several court cases in Salem, fined there for swearing, and appointed in 1655 by the court of commissioners to keep a house of entertainment, with a sign to be posted outside to advise strangers. I am not sure whether this was in Massachusetts, or in Rhode Island.

We know he was in Rhode Island in 1675-1676, as he is noted as being one of the few people to "stay and not go" during King Philip's War.  This gave him some leverage when native Americans captured in the war were sold as slaves, as he received a share of the profits.  (I know, I know, this is bad and unacceptable, but it's a fact so it needs to be told.  Wife abuser, slave trader or slave holder, or both, I'm telling it like it is, but not liking it.)

In 1681, Mary, Richard's wife, was given a license (no location given) to keep a public house of entertainment for one year.  Again, no location was given.  Were they in the same town, or were they separated by many miles? Mary was dead when Richard married his second wife, Elizabeth White Hearnden, widow of Benjamin Hearnden.  (Benjamin Hearnden and Elizabeth are also our ancestors, just to keep things interesting.)  Did Richard finally find true love?  Did Elizabeth go into this relationship with her eyes wide open?  Enquiring minds want to know.

Richard died in Providence, Rhode Island sometime in 1693.  He had sold or given his small amount of land to his son Ephraim before his death.  We don't know how or if the other children were acknowledged, or what provisions were made for Elizabeth, since I've been unable to locate a copy of his will.

There is so much I'd like to know about Richard.  Since his first marriage was such a disaster, what made his willing to try it again?  Was Elizabeth a different kind of person than Mary had been?  What about Mary?  Did she find love, or at least friendship, with anyone?  How did the children turn out, living in a home where the parents fought so much?  Where was Richard from, and was his father really Quentin Pray?  And why did he stay in Providence, having received warning that the natives were planning to burn that village?  Maybe he wasn't the kind of ancestor we would want to claim, but here he is, folks, larger than life, warts, crimes, and all.  If I ever learn that the records are mixed up and our Richard Pray was not the kind of man this blog post portrays, I sure will be happy to correct the record!

The line of descent is:

Richard Pray-Mary
John Pray-Sarah Brown
Mary Pray-Richard Brown
Deborah Brown-Othniel Brown
Sarah Brown-Enos Eddy
Enos Eddy-Deborah Paine
Joseph Brown Eddy-Susan Lamphire
Susan Eddy-Hiram Stanard
Louis Stanard-Mary Alice Hetrick
Etta Stanard-Loren Holbrook
Gladys Holbrook-Richard Allen
Their descendants